


How Merlin Lost His Hair

by BuffyRowan, Python07



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Still Game (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Harry is alive, M/M, Merlin Jack and Victor are mentioned, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 02:43:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5610886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuffyRowan/pseuds/BuffyRowan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy is reckless to get Merlin's attention. It doesn't work. Harry enjoys telling him why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Merlin Lost His Hair

Eggsy slunk into Harry’s office. His posture was hunched over and his shoulders slumped. He flopped down into the chair in front of Harry’s desk.

Harry didn’t look up from the game he was playing on his phone. “I already received a report from Merlin on your latest mission. A bit unorthodox, but you got the job done. So, why are you here, moping, and interrupting my Candy Crush?”

Eggsy stuck his chin out. “Thought I'd see if there was a new mission, share a cuppa. And I ain't mopin.”

Harry sighed and put his phone down. He turned his full attention on Eggsy. One end of his mouth quirked up. “You look like JB when he’s begging at the table.”

Eggsy shot his mentor a stern look. “And who is it that drops him bits at the table, eh? I taught him better manners, didn't want them posh dogs looking’ down on him, right.”

Harry mirrored the look. “I’m not the one who makes an extra burger, just for him.”

“I put it in his dish, after dinner, though.”

“I applaud your attempt to change the subject,” Harry said dryly. “If you’re not going to tell me why you’re moping, you can leave and let me get back to my game.”

Eggsy shifted uneasily in his chair. “Merlin really already sent his report?”

Harry studied Eggsy’s reactions. “Yes.”

“And that's all he had to say, that it was unorthodox?”

“Yes,” Harry answered blandly.

“Oh,” Eggsy muttered.

Eggsy tried to hide it, but Harry saw the slight slump, the faint air of disappointment that followed his response. Harry sat forward in his seat. “Eggsy, out with it.”

Eggsy waved his arm. "Nuthin. Just, thought Merlin'd have more to say about it. Roxy gave me a right bollicking when I got back."

Harry sat back again. His mouth twitched but he didn’t smile. “I assume it’s safe to say you did something stupid and reckless.”

Eggsy sat up straight. He tried to keep the defensiveness out of his tone but didn’t entirely succeed. “Did what I had to do to accomplish the mission.”

Harry smiled indulgently. “If it was an attempt to get Merlin’s attention, I should tell you that such antics won't even get a raised eyebrow.”

“Wot antics, did what I had to,” Eggsy maintained stubbornly. “And what do you mean, won't even get a raised eyebrow?”

Harry stood and made his way over to the drinks cabinet. He took his time mixing his drink. He felt Eggsy watching him but didn’t answer.

"Come on, you can't just say something like that then clam up."

Harry slowly came back to his chair. He sat gracefully. He got comfortable and finally spoke. “You've been in Kingsman long enough to have heard the stories about Gawain and Gareth.”

Eggsy grinned, “I've heard a few, sounds like blokes I'd like to buy a pint.”

Harry grinned back. “You may get that opportunity one day.”

Eggsy perked up. “Wait, they's still kickin? Thought you lot weren't much for the gold watch retirement gig, tend to drop in harness like.”

“It’s true. Many Kingsman agents don’t make it to old age, but those two were superb, especially when teamed together,” Harry said in pure admiration. “Who knows how long they would’ve kept going, but they took retirement when Chester became Arthur.”

“Not fans of the old wanker, then?”

Harry chuckled. “They called him a stuck up prick to his face.”

Eggsy laughed, “Bloody hell, I'd've loved to see that!”

“Yes, it was beautiful, but the rest of the old guard was scandalized by the rough Scotsmen.” Harry held his hands up in air quotes. “Unfortunately, they had the majority at the table. That’s the only reason Chester became Arthur.”

“Wait, I wasn't the first mutt to make it into this purebred pack?”

“Not every Arthur has been like Chester. Kingsman has had very forward thinking men at its head. Gawain and Gareth made their way strictly on merit. The previous Arthur loved them as a breath of fresh air. In fact, he would’ve rather Gawain succeed him.” Harry looked pointedly at Eggsy. “Does any of this sound familiar?”

Eggsy smirked. “Might do. But if they retired when Chester took the throne, Merlin wouldn't have worked with them much. He ain't that old.”

Harry gave a secretive smile. “Merlin was young when they retired, just starting out. I was only at the table a couple of years and he’d been in the tech department about as long.”

Eggsy leaned forward. “Give over. You're smirking like you did just afore you gave Dean and his boys that beat down. That ain't the full story.”

Harry just grinned wider and arched his eyebrows.

Eggsy bounced in his seat. “Oh, come on, you want me to guess?” He flopped back in the chair and waved an arm. “I dunno, you said they were Scots, one of them recommend Merlin?”

“That’s part of it.”

“Part of it?” Eggsy shot upright in the seat. “Wait, you saying they knew Merlin. What, one if them related to him?”

Harry laughed and held up his glass in a toast to Eggsy. “Smart lad.”

Eggsy’s brow furrowed. “Then why didn't Chester have a hate-on for Merlin?”

“He did at first but Merlin’s just too good at what he does. Plus, the previous Merlin wouldn’t be parted with his protégé.”

“So Merlin heard stories about what Gareth and Gawain got up to, then?”

“Oh, yes. Back then, everyone at Kingsman had stories about them,” Harry said airily. He watched Eggsy carefully. “He even saw his Da’s reckless behavior a few times himself.”

"Da?” Eggsy squeaked. “Which one was his da?” he asked excitedly. “Was the other his uncle, then? Roxy’s been making me read the stories of the round table, Gareth and Gawain was brothers, right?”

“Yes, in legend, they were.” Harry put both hands up to slow Eggsy down. “Merlin’s Da was Gawain. He and Gareth aren’t related by blood but they’re closer than a lot of brothers I’ve seen.”

“Was they really 'rough', or did Chester just have a stick up his arse because they was Scots?”

Harry thought on that for a long moment. “They were whatever the mission required of them. Either of them could be smooth as silk or brutal as an Artic winter.”

“But they wasn’t born posh?”

“No,” Harry answered readily. “Working class.”

Eggsy offered a lopsided grin. “Got something to live up to, then, eh?”

Harry nodded. “You could do a lot worse than having a career like either of them.”

“So if Gawain or Gareth did the same thing as me, Merlin wouldn't react?”

Harry chuckled. “I believe Merlin’s finally acknowledged the futility of changing their behavior.”

Eggsy looked thoughtful, apparently considering this new information.

“Although,” Harry continued. “They were part of the reason that Merlin decided to shave his head.”

Now Eggsy was puzzled. “How's that, then?”

Harry smirked. “He expected them to behave in retirement. However, they may be old, but not dead.”

Eggsy burst out laughing. “Still raising hell, then?”

“To be fair to them, they try to keep a low profile. There are those out there who would wish them harm, but trouble sometimes finds them.” Harry’s eyes flashed in excitement. “They had a small chat with the dead beat husband of a friend of theirs. They didn’t hurt him but made it clear for him to stay away. A biker gang started trouble in their pub and they really had no option but to take care of it. Some neds tried to rob them and found themselves in a heap outside the local police station.” He paused and laughed some more. “Those two use their fair share of the amnesia darts.”

“I like that.” Eggsy rubbed his hands together in anticipation. “Bet it drives Merlin mad, them still finding trouble.”

“He doesn’t like to admit it but he worries.”

“Aw,” Eggsy drawled, “he's a mother hen, innit he.”

Harry’s smile softened. “He’s like that with everyone he cares about, including you.”

Eggsy shifted uncomfortably in his seat, muttering something about parachutes.

Harry cleared his throat and looked at Eggsy expectantly. “I thought you were going to work on that chip on your shoulder.” 

Eggsy glared back. "Still a rotten trick. Rox an me still debatin whether that or 'shoot the dog' was worse."

“It was a blank, Eggsy, and all of us had to do it.” Harry studied Eggsy. “Just what are you trying to get Merlin’s attention for?”

Eggsy couldn’t quite meet Harry’s eyes. “He's . . . interesting. Never treated me any different than the other prospects.” He looked fully away as he mumbled, “Plus he's right fit.”

“I see,” Harry said with a fond smile. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number he knew well. “Hello, Victor…Yes, it’s Harry. Is Jack there…”

Harry was hard-pressed not to snicker at the befuddled look on Eggsy's face. He covered the receiver with his hand. “We might as well seek the help of the old pro in getting under Merlin’s skin.”

Eggsy’s eyes got wide. “Gawain himself?”

Harry barely refrained from rolling his eyes. “I just hope the world is ready for you guys to meet.”


End file.
